Why Taking a Pause Matters

Parenting a neurodivergent child is a beautiful, intense, emotional, joyful, confusing, exhausting journey, and if you’re neurodivergent too, that journey can feel like living inside a blender. But one of the most powerful tools I’ve learned, not from a book, not from an expert, but from lived experience is this: the simple act of pausing changes everything.

What do I mean by pause? I mean those tiny breaks in the day where you give your nervous system a moment to settle, even a few slow breaths, a walk to the kitchen, a few seconds with eyes closed before responding. These tiny pauses are not just “nice extras.” They are health-protective interventions.

Jump to the practical tips here

The Reality of Stress in Neurodivergent Parenting

Research shows that parents of autistic or neurodivergent children consistently report higher stress levels than parents of neurotypical kids, and this stress isn’t just emotional, it affects health, sleep, mood, and your capacity to show up as your best self. Social support (or lack of it) also makes a big difference in how stressed caregivers feel.

And here’s something hopeful: studies that focus on mindfulness-based practices, which explicitly invite pausing, breathing, and noticing show real reductions in parenting stress that last long after the intervention ends.

What “Pause” Actually Does

When your nervous system is in “go-mode” because your child is dysregulated, because your inbox piled up, because the world feels loud and your brain is in survival mode. It’s hard to think clearly. It’s hard to respond with patience. It’s hard to sleep. It’s real biological stress.

A pause, even for a few slow breaths, signals to your brain that you are safe right now. It’s not a luxury. It’s a tiny regulation reset that builds resilience over time.

What a Pause Can Look Like in Everyday Life

Here are some practical ways to build pauses into your day, without extra time, without pressure, without guilt:

Micro-pauses

• Take one slow breath before responding to a hard moment.

• Put your hand on your chest and notice the rise and fall of your breath.

• Say silently: “This is hard, and I can handle one moment at a time.”

Sensory pauses

• If your body is buzzing, take a minute to stretch or sway.

• Step outside for fresh air, even if it’s just for 30 seconds.

• Use grounding sensations, a cold drink, hold an ice cube, touch some soft fabric, put gentle pressure against your feet.

Shared pauses

• Slow breathing with your child.

• A calm exit, even a quiet corner or reading nook when emotions rise.

• A rhythm you can both use: “Let’s take 3 slow breaths together.”

Mini digital pauses

• Turn off notifications when possible.

• Put your phone down (SO IMPORTANT!) for one whole conversation with your kiddo.

• Use “airplane mode” for short stretches to lower mental clutter.

Why Pauses Help Parents of Neurodivergent Kids

Pausing helps you regulate your nervous system, which then supports your child’s regulation in a biologically connected way. When you pause, you model calm; you slow the feedback loop of stress; you give space for mindful responses instead of reactive ones. And when those moments, however small, add up over days and weeks, they protect your health and increase your emotional resilience.

So if you’re reading this in a moment of overwhelm, know this: A pause is not wasted time. It is a healing moment in disguise.

"You don’t need hours. You don’t need a perfect quiet room. You don’t need permission from anyone. You just need intentional pause + gentle breath = nervous system reset."

Give yourself that break. You deserve it. Your child deserves you, but a regulated you is far more powerful than a busy, overwhelmed you.

Further Reading

Cameron, L. N., Fenning, R. M., Morrell, H. E. R., & Benjamin, L. R. (2023). Comparative effects of mindfulness-based stress reduction and psychoeducational support on parenting stress in families of autistic preschoolers. Autism, 37555286. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/37555286/ 

Hu, Y., Zheng, J., & Zhang, W. (2023). Mindfulness and parenting stress among parents of autistic children: The mediation of resilience and psychological flexibility. Mindfulness and Stress Journal, 40130744. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/40130744/ 

Lai, D. W. L., & colleagues (2025). Parenting stress in autistic and ADHD children: Implications of social support and child characteristics. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders, 55, 2284–2293. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-024-06377-4 

Smith, J., & colleagues (2023). The well-being and support needs of caregivers of neurodivergent children. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders. https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-023-05910-1