Caregiver Burnout

If someone had told me that the most powerful thing I could do for my health and my child’s wellbeing was to simply pause, I probably would’ve laughed, exhausted, juggling schedules, appointments, therapies, meals, and emotional waves, not to mention the holidays are coming up. But somewhere on this winding neurodivergent parenting journey, I learned that the pauses are not “gaps” or “wasted time.” They are necessary breaths that reset our nervous systems, protect our health, and make space for presence instead of autopilot survival.

What the Research Says

1. Parents of neurodivergent children are at high risk for chronic stress

Research consistently shows that caregivers, especially parents of autistic children experience significantly "clinically-elevated chronic stress", burnout, and poor mental health compared with other parents. These prolonged stress responses matter, not just for your mood but for your physical and mental health long-term.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC10853488/

2. Mindfulness and regulated breaks reduce stress

Studies of caregiver wellbeing reveal that isolation, lack of informal support, and unmet support needs increase psychological distress for neurodivergent caregivers. These findings underline how essential intentional pauses, social connection, and self-care supports are. They are not just “nice extras,” but protective and preventative measures.

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/39489145/?utm_source=chatgpt.com

3. Lack of support compounds stress and burnout

Studies also indicate that isolation, lack of informal support, and unmet support needs increase psychological distress for neurodivergent caregivers.

https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s10803-023-05910-1

So, What Does a REAL Pause Look Like?

When I say pause, I don’t mean the mythical “week-long retreat” (though that is lovely and certainly on my to-do list!). I mean real, accessible moments of letting up built into your day, because your body and brain literally need them to function.

A Few Tips That Help Us Breathe Through the Chaos

Set small, realistic pause cues:

Try stopping for one deep breath at natural transitions, when a timer goes off, when you walk from one room to another, when you finish a task etc...

Track how pauses feel in your body:

Notice your shoulders dropping, your jaw unclenching, your stomach softening. These subtle signals are real evidence your nervous system is shifting.

Build community pauses:

Parent support groups, even short check-ins with other caregivers, can decrease isolation and remind you that you’re not doing this alone.

Protect your pause time:

Set soft boundaries around small chunks of your day, even 5–10 minutes of unstructured rest. Your needs matter. You are not taking away from anyone by giving to yourself, you are replenishing the system that everyone depends on.

And don't forget to breathe... deep slow long breaths.

Calming green forest scene, to imagine you are walking and taking big deep breaths